What am I doing?
Where should I go?
Which path should I take?
What future should I have?
What life should I lead?
Lost.
The world is moving on even without me following it.
It never stops for even a second to let me reconsider the choices I make.
It never allows me to catch up.
Or rather, it's me who never seems to catch up with its footsteps.
What am I doing?
The clock is ticking and I'm still stuck on the same ground.
What should I do?
I have many things to fulfil but yet no courage to accomplish any.
I yearn to do many things, but never seem able to break free from the clutches of my worry.
Am I to admit defeat now and live an empty listless life?
Staying rooted is more difficult than being rooted off
The big "E" has done it again - another plant rooted off the ground. Thing is, this time the growing plant does not even have enough time to stretch its roots deep into the soil.
Since my life in the new yet monotonous environment, not even for a year, I have witness 3 rooting ceremonies. The first one was performed with not a tinge of humanity, the second was considered a suicidal sort, while the last one happened within a split of second (it was rather dramatic, I can asure you).
The soil seemed to be prosperous in the beginning. But as my roots dug deeper into the ground, the wretched stench hidden beneath layers of fertile soil surfaced; as my stem shot nearer to the skies the entire field became more visible. Everything nice and wonderful seemed to disappear into a wisp of thin air.
I see plants with flowers - the magnificent colours of the petals seemed so likeable and pretty. Their stems are bursting with turgidity - signifying the abundance of nutrients they have sucked from the soil; their green leaves are fluttering peacefully in the gentle breeze - signifying the large amounts of water they have exhausted from their fellow plants and how good their growing spot is when it comes to capturing the sunlight.
Yet, I also see another population of plants shrivelling beneath - they appear to have received same amount of water, sunlight, nutrients as the energetic flowering plants. But from the way they are hiding away indignantly into the overpowering shadows, we see a different story. Once these die off, the soil replenishes its nutrients to grow more flowering plants.
I am not sure when one of these plants will start to divert me from reaching the sun and the skies. But the fight to get the most nutrients, water and sunlight will exist until the final day comes.
I miss the old times, when we laughed sharing the funniest moments in the boring environment. Yet, everything happens for a reason and things always change for the better - never for the worst. So all the best to my dear friend - I saw your strength and courage today which I believe will grow within you. Take care and I hope our friendship will never falter.
Since my life in the new yet monotonous environment, not even for a year, I have witness 3 rooting ceremonies. The first one was performed with not a tinge of humanity, the second was considered a suicidal sort, while the last one happened within a split of second (it was rather dramatic, I can asure you).
The soil seemed to be prosperous in the beginning. But as my roots dug deeper into the ground, the wretched stench hidden beneath layers of fertile soil surfaced; as my stem shot nearer to the skies the entire field became more visible. Everything nice and wonderful seemed to disappear into a wisp of thin air.
I see plants with flowers - the magnificent colours of the petals seemed so likeable and pretty. Their stems are bursting with turgidity - signifying the abundance of nutrients they have sucked from the soil; their green leaves are fluttering peacefully in the gentle breeze - signifying the large amounts of water they have exhausted from their fellow plants and how good their growing spot is when it comes to capturing the sunlight.
Yet, I also see another population of plants shrivelling beneath - they appear to have received same amount of water, sunlight, nutrients as the energetic flowering plants. But from the way they are hiding away indignantly into the overpowering shadows, we see a different story. Once these die off, the soil replenishes its nutrients to grow more flowering plants.
I am not sure when one of these plants will start to divert me from reaching the sun and the skies. But the fight to get the most nutrients, water and sunlight will exist until the final day comes.
I miss the old times, when we laughed sharing the funniest moments in the boring environment. Yet, everything happens for a reason and things always change for the better - never for the worst. So all the best to my dear friend - I saw your strength and courage today which I believe will grow within you. Take care and I hope our friendship will never falter.
Posted by
Mint
MY - day
It was my birthday a day ago and I did the most unusual thing on that special day - I stayed at home, the entire day, watching drama serials and enjoyed being a couch potato throughout the 13- episode series.
I had no urge to venture beyond the premises of my flat, and no thoughts of going anywhere except staying in front of the tv set. Weird it must have seemed but the sofa appeared to capture more of my attention than Orchard Road.
I never like to remind my close friends and even family members of the date. I might be yearning for a little surprise to spice up my horribly boring life, or it could have been my shy- little self not knowing how to give away such reminders without seeming proud. It could have been just my pride - telling people when is your birthday is like begging them to remember showering you with gifts.
Truth is, I get embarassed whenever someone wishes me a "Happy Birthday" - I wouldn't know what to say. When I receive gifts, all I can think of is replying with lots of "thank you" - I get angry at myself because I know that the mere 2 words can never accurately express the joy I feel. But "thank you " is all I can ever think of at spur of the moment.
2 days before my actual birthday, I receive a grand surprise from my colleagues. It came so sudden I did not have time to prepare for it. They sang the song and I receive the huge chocolate cake from them without saying anything - as usual, I didn't know what to say. Dumbfounded, you might think, but I was actually trying hard to search for the right words to say.
Seconds passed - I'm asked to make a wish. I agreed, still not knowing what to say, and closed my eyes to make the special wish (can't say it out or it won't come true). Then I wait for the flashes from the camera to stop before I blow out the candles. More flashes ignited the dark room - and I still can't find something to say except "Thank you so much!".
They waited as if for me to say something, while I waited for them to tell me what to do. Another few seconds passed, I gave up trying to find the right word - "Erm, I'm suppose to cut the cake right?"
My boss couldn't hold back his toungue and bursted out "My God." Everyone shrieked with laughter. Just one of those moments which I wish I could find something nice to say to everyone but I can't.
On the actual day, my housemates prepared a cake for me too. As usual, I could say nothing except "Thank you" throughout the entire session.
My birthday came and went. I don't really feel it a special day because my parents calls me very often, and I frequently spend time with my friends. However, I mark it as "MY" day because I was born during the date. And also a date to remind me that I'm officially a year older, and another reason to find more ways to live life to the fullest.
I had no urge to venture beyond the premises of my flat, and no thoughts of going anywhere except staying in front of the tv set. Weird it must have seemed but the sofa appeared to capture more of my attention than Orchard Road.
I never like to remind my close friends and even family members of the date. I might be yearning for a little surprise to spice up my horribly boring life, or it could have been my shy- little self not knowing how to give away such reminders without seeming proud. It could have been just my pride - telling people when is your birthday is like begging them to remember showering you with gifts.
Truth is, I get embarassed whenever someone wishes me a "Happy Birthday" - I wouldn't know what to say. When I receive gifts, all I can think of is replying with lots of "thank you" - I get angry at myself because I know that the mere 2 words can never accurately express the joy I feel. But "thank you " is all I can ever think of at spur of the moment.
2 days before my actual birthday, I receive a grand surprise from my colleagues. It came so sudden I did not have time to prepare for it. They sang the song and I receive the huge chocolate cake from them without saying anything - as usual, I didn't know what to say. Dumbfounded, you might think, but I was actually trying hard to search for the right words to say.
Seconds passed - I'm asked to make a wish. I agreed, still not knowing what to say, and closed my eyes to make the special wish (can't say it out or it won't come true). Then I wait for the flashes from the camera to stop before I blow out the candles. More flashes ignited the dark room - and I still can't find something to say except "Thank you so much!".
They waited as if for me to say something, while I waited for them to tell me what to do. Another few seconds passed, I gave up trying to find the right word - "Erm, I'm suppose to cut the cake right?"
My boss couldn't hold back his toungue and bursted out "My God." Everyone shrieked with laughter. Just one of those moments which I wish I could find something nice to say to everyone but I can't.
On the actual day, my housemates prepared a cake for me too. As usual, I could say nothing except "Thank you" throughout the entire session.
My birthday came and went. I don't really feel it a special day because my parents calls me very often, and I frequently spend time with my friends. However, I mark it as "MY" day because I was born during the date. And also a date to remind me that I'm officially a year older, and another reason to find more ways to live life to the fullest.
Posted by
Mint
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