How do you know if you are drunk? From TV shows and drama serials, it seems that eccentric bahaviour and weird mannerisms surface once a person gets drunk. So when you are drunk you will act weird. If you don't, you are disobeying the rules of life. Life says - once drunk, act weird.
I never believed that at all - until last night. I wouldn't say that I acted weird - I did not strip myself naked in front of everyone, nor did I try to kiss whoever came into my sight. No. I just laughed and talked. But, the difference between my sober self and drunkard self is the latter was more real than the former.
Once you drink enough to make your head weigh like tons, you are already towards a drunk state. The symptoms can be quite prominent - first stage is always a rush of heat to the face then a wave of dizziness hits the head. These creeps slowly into you, like a thief trying to rob you of your consciousness. If you let your guard down and continue sipping, consciousness will slowly be replaced by invisible steel bars.
Next stage towards drunk state - hammering in the head. With all the steel bars stored inside your head, it is a huge wastage if they are not transformed into something useful. Thus hammering starts. At this state of mind, you can't think. You might try to, but you would not be able to do so. To minimise the effect of all the hammering, you might as well sort the easiest remedy - not to think at all.
Thus, the so call "weird mannerisms" surface. You let yourself go freely - you start to voice your thoughts (deeply buried at the back of your head), you act as your mind tells you to or as you feel like (without thinking of any consequences), and either you keep the smiles on your face, laugh without knowing the real reason, or cry a sea of tears.
After last night's experience with the magical drink, I realised our drunk selves might be our 'true' selves. The world is a difficult place to live in, and to survive, there is a likelihood of us turning into cold and harsh robots with fake identities. We start to lose our true selves, or rather, more accurately, turn away from being who we are.
Last night, I kept the smiles on my face - which is what I seldom do when sober. The world to me is too harsh, and I enjoy living in the world of Walt Disney. I was more confident and so sure of myself when drunk - no longer a timid creature hiding behind layers of various personalities. I was even braver than usual and I ignored all sarcasms thrown at me. For a while, I never knew I was such a superwoman. I am actually the person whom I have always wanted to be.
Amazing.
The road to self discovery is truly amazing. I am glad my parents talked me into staying - thank you meee and dae-dee - I am now happily experiencing the wonders of life. And my dream is slowly becoming a reality.
(Photo taken from www.mangalocity.com/
1 comment:
yet again, you choose what you want to be. quote from shrek [rather derive frm him ;)], "even if people see you as a negative, it might be in any facet of life, its what you believ that is actually true and its upto you to live the person you want to be". make that choice. you dun need to be drunk to be urself! :)
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